S T E P P A R E N T

When we think of a step parent, generally it is not so good. We sometime think of Cinderella, her horrible step mother and terrible step sisters.
But every story doesn't happen like this. Some think the step family is great! But what are some ways you could make a softer entrance into a childs life? Try being some what of that favorite aunt or uncle first, until you have a better or good relationship.

*Don't be so quick to punish. All the bigger punishments should be done by the blood mom or dad.

*it's not always more important to be interesting as it is to be interested. Be involved in your step child's likes and interests. Look for opportunities to let them tell you about things they enjoy. Most people who are interested in something, love talking about that thing.

*make fun memories together. They may feel sad about leaving old memories behind. You may not be able to bring there old memories. But you can help them find joy in the place they are now.

Your goal should not be to replace anyone in their lives but to become a new person that they look up to and can tell that you love and care for them.

F A T H E R S

When having a child, most think of the mother. Starting with the beginning of pregnancy with morning sickness, the the feeling of change, hormones are all out of wack, and the first time she can feel the fluttering of her little one. Through these times it is really easy to strengthen the bond with her mother, she understand what she is going through wile her husband does not.

This can be a dangerous place to allow yourself to get. Fathers are very important in a child's life and the media tries to take them out of the picture by saying they are worthless and have no clue what they are doing. https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-long-reach-childhood/201106/the-importance-fathers  in this article given by Ditta M. Oliker Ph.D said "Children with involved, caring fathers have better educational outcomes. The influence of a father's involvement extends into adolescence and young adulthood." so what can we do as mother to help our husbands have a better relationship with our children. 
Well some ideas are to start right with pregnancy. Explain what you are feeling, the fluttering, the kicks, have him feel your belly! Have him take birthing classes with you! (not dissing on doulas) but have your husband be the one helping you when giving birth if possible. Make him feel like he is apart of the team. 
    After baby comes, don't have family come right away! Allow you and your spouse to figure it all out! by doing this you have to rely on each other and you will strengthen the bond between you and him and the baby! 
     Speak kindly of the father to your children, Explain to them the importance he has in your family. encourage playtime with dad. By taking small step in strengthening your family and having an environment of love, your children will be much better off.
     

M O N E Y

    Dealing with fiances together when you first get married, can sometimes be difficult. But it does not have to be that way. Just from my personal experiences from talking with friends and others I have found that one of the biggest problems for those who feel financially strapped, didn't know how to free themselves from the debt they had created. I my self am not a professional in finance, but I found the book / pamphlet called "One for the money guide to family finance" to be really helpful! It was written by Elder Marvin J. Ashton.

He said, "As proper money management and living within one’s means are essential in today’s world if we are to live abundantly and happily, may I make some recommendations for improved personal and family financial management. The following twelve points will help each of us achieve this goal, I believe." (To see the 12 different steps he specifically it talking about go to the link.) follow this link. https://www.lds.org/bc/content/shared/content/english/pdf/language-materials/33293_eng.pdf

Under the section he talks about how to get out of the debt you are already in. he says "A debt-elimination calendar can help you reduce or eliminate debt. Mark off several columns on a piece of paper. In the first column on the left, write the names of the months, beginning with the upcoming month. At the top of the next column, write the name of the creditor you want to pay off first. It may be the debt with the highest interest rate, or the earliest pay-off date. List the monthly payment for that creditor until the loan is repaid as shown in the illustration above. At the top of the next column, record the name of the second creditor you want to repay, and list payments due each month. After you have repaid the first creditor, add the amount of that monthly payment to your payment to the second creditor. (In the example above, notice that the family finished making monthly payments on their credit card. They then added $110 to the $70 furniture payment, creating a new monthly payment of $180.) Continue the process until all loans are repaid."

this would look something like this 

Once you are on the path of bettering your family finances, you will begin to feel less stress in the family and your relationship. Work together to make a plan council with one another and come up with a game plan you both feel comfortable and that you both will support. I know that as you work together on such an important area in your life you will be happier in knowing that you both know what is going on, and that not just one of you has to try and figure it all out!